Facing a partner's death is one problem most of us would prefer not to have to understand. We spend our lives in search of a soul mate with whom to build a life. We share our dreams, experience and possessions, shaping an identity as a couple and as a family. Many of us vow, "Til death do us part," but how many of us have any inkling of what that parting may mean?

More than 900,000 Americans a year face the death of a spouse. These numbers do not include those who lose partners they have not legally wed, but who may be just as central in their lives.

The experience of losing a partner is not easily defined. It impacts people differently at different times in their lives. Factors that affect how a person reacts to a partner's death include whether:

the death is expected;

the surviving partner is in a phase of life in which many of his peers also face the death of a partner;

whether the relationship is satisfying and enriching or unsatisfying and prone to conflict.

These books have been recommended by people in therapy facing a partner's death:

A Grief Observed, by C. S. Lewis

Letting Go, by Melanie Beatty

When a Lifemate Dies: Stories of Love, Loss, and Healing, edited by S. Heinleins, G. Brumett, and J. Tibbals

Chicago's Transitions Bookstore reports that the following books have been especially helpful to their readers facing a partner's death:

The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses, by John W. James and Russell Friedman

How to Survive the Loss of a Love, by Melba Colgrove, Harold Bloomfield, and Peter McWilliams