Family and Friends
The "Curse" of Perfect Parenting
Young Women/Youth Parenting
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Although in past generations and in some cultures, childbearing
occurs at a very young age, in Western culture there is a strong
bias against people becoming parents early in life.
A number of factors are associated with this bias: ideas about
lack of maturity and experience, lost opportunities to complete
academic education, and low earning potential because of limited
formal education.
The picture often presented is one of young parents feeling bored
and trapped. The other side of the picture, which is less often
presented, is of a different life sequence in which teen parents
have more energy for parenting and later go back to complete their
education when they are more likely to appreciate it and more clear
about career goals.
Although feelings of being bored and trapped can occur for parents
of any age, young parents are more vulnerable to these feelings
because of the contrast with the freedom and exploration available
to many of their peers.
A peer network of other parents can provide an antidote to these
difficulties. Enough help with childcare to allow young parents
to continue a life outside of parenting can offer relief, as well.
Some of the biases against parenting at a young age have to do
with associated problems, such as poverty and instability of relationships,
that could occur at any age and may not be relevant to particular
parents. Rather than conceptualizing and generalizing parenting
by persons of a "younger" age as problematic, it may be more useful
to identify specific problems and abilities that are unique to particular
parents.
If you are a young parent or the parent of young parents, here
are some questions that you might consider:
Questions
- What does being a parent/grandparent at this particular time
in your life offer that might not be available at other times?
- If you keep the knowledge of this advantage in your awareness,
how will that make a difference?
- If you think about your whole life, are there important things
that you are putting on hold? How can you keep dreams and plans
of those things alive for your future?
- Which people support and find joy in your parenting at this
time in your life? Does it make a difference to spend more time
with
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