Solutions (Do’s and Don’ts)

Here are some do’s and don’ts that others have found helpful and not so helpful in their relationship.

Ten Do’s

  • Appreciate what you are doing well as a parent.
  • Recognize that idealized versions of parenthood are idealized and not real.
  • Develop your own priorities as a parent and focus on them.
  • Appreciate what you are doing well as a parent.
  • Recognize that although the culture supports a specific family constellation, there are alternatives that may be better for you and your child.
  • At times when frustration colors your relationship with your child, remember that things will inevitably change as your child grows.
  • Spend time with others who understand and support your situation.
  • Take time for yourself and your relationships.
  • Recognize that although others might make different choices about parenting, children do well in a variety of situations.
  • If you are engaging in actions as a parent that may be harmful to your child, seek help.

Four Don’ts

  • Don’t compare yourself to others or to idealized images.
  • Don’t replay your worst moments over and over in your mind and take your best ones for granted.
  • Don’t assume that others know more about your child than you do.
  • Don’t compare your child’s every action and rate of development to other children.

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