Questions for people who have lost a partner

Questions for a young person who loses a partner

  • How can I keep focused on what is most important to me (which will be different at different times) instead of getting pulled into trying to fit the lifestyle norm?
  • If you could ask your partner’s help in sustaining you, what would she say about you that would let her know you can do it?
  • What else might she say?
  • What might she most hope you would keep alive about her and about the relationship? Why?
  • Who in your life might continue to honor your relationship? Is there a way you can facilitate that happening?

Questions for people who lose a partner in the middle years

  • What are the most important concerns for me right now?
  • How can I put the other concerns on hold or get temporary help (for example, so that I can make life shape decisions after responding to the grief)?
  • What aspects of my life and experience are most important to me?
  • If I shape my life to honor those aspects, what will be the effects on my life and relationships?
  • What would my partner say about changing my life shape this way?

Questions for people who lose a partner later in life

  • If you could ask your partner what he knows about you that would give him confidence in your ability to face the future, what would he say?
  • Which of his words would you like to keep available to you as you continue in life?
  • How would he support your changing your life to fit not having a partner?
  • How would keeping him in your heart and mind make a difference as you face the future?
  • In reviewing your life, what interests and activities have been most meaningful? Are there ways that you can re-engage (or stay engaged) with them now?
  • What can you draw on in your relationships and experience to help you through this time?
  • What memories give you confidence in your abilities? What relationships sustain you?

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