Solutions – do’s and don’t’s


  • Be clear about what exactly the problem is rather than looking at diagnoses.
  • Address these problems directly.
  • See the problem as something that has characteristics and a life of its own.
  • Notice how this problem has different effects on the lives of everyone it touches.
  • Be on the lookout for how you can join with others, particularly the child, to undermine the strength of the problem.
  • Try to do this without excluding or isolating anyone.
  • Look for evidence of the child’s success over the problem.
  • Make the most of the child’sis success.
  • Create a context for the recognition and encouragement of success.
  • If the child takes medication, give him/her/them credit for theirtheir contribution to any success.
  • When the child has outgrown the diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, celebrate their graduation.


  • Don’t give in to the pressure to label or diagnose.
  • Don’t notice only the problematic behaviors.
  • Don’t think of medication as the “solution.”
  • Don’t blame yourself for your child’s difficulties.
  • Don’t let the experience of this problem isolate you from others who might provide support.

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