Advice for living with ADHD

Advice to Families

Some of the issues relevant to dealing with this problem can include:

Responsibility

All of us need to feel competent, able to take on life’s many responsibilities. Therefore, it is risky to view your child as hopelessly irresponsible because of his/her disability. it renders both you and your child powerless. On the contrary, parents need to encourage their children to accept responsibility for themselves. In turn, children who are respected by adults are more likely to feel self-confident and competent.

Competency

Family members of children diagnosed with ADD or ADHD often report experiencing a loss of their own coping and competency skills. Family members need to seek ways to rebuild their own confidence, competency and self-worth. These ways may include conversations with extended family, friends, and/or professionals, all of whom can help family members reconnect with their own talents and skills. One of the major effects of ADD or ADHD is the undermining of self-confidence and the competency of family members. In order to succeed there must be a rebuilding of confidence, competency, and self-worth for all family members.

Support

Most of us need the support of our family and friends. This is especially true with difficult situations. Our children cannot solve all their problems on their own. They need to know they havea support from competent, caring people (family, friends, teachers) who can help them deal with the problem–and not see them as the problem.

Parenting issues

When difficulties arise with our children, we inevitably judge ourselves as caregivers and parents. We may wonder: have we done the right thing?. Did we do enough? Too much?, Did our partners do the right/ wrong thing? What more could we have done?
But perhaps it is equally beneficial to ask ourselves the following questions:

  • What effect has my child’s problem had on how I feel about myself?
  • How has it affected how I feel about my child? My partner?
  • How distressed am I?
  • Am I finding ways to avoid my feelings of anger, bitterness, disappointment, resentment and/or fear?
  • Should my reactions be address in their own right?

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